The End of the Universe

Update:

I cooked. It actually happened last Monday, but I've been so busy I didn't get a chance to mention it. I did cook though, finally: Salmon cakes, fettucini alfredo, and a frisee salad. The salad and pasta were nothing extraordinary, but the salmon cake recipe is one from cooking school which is AMAZING, so I will share it:




Ingredients:
Salmon.
Heavy cream.
Parsley.
Olive oil.
Salt and pepper.

Done.

Okay, these are the world's easiest cake-style seafood. Way easier than crab cakes. By far. Here's what you do...

Mince the salmon. That means chop it up into almost-mush. Little, tiny bits until it looks like brains. (LAZY PEOPLE: you can ask your butcher to put it through the meat grinder and, at most grocery stores, he will. It won't taste quite as good, but it'll save a lot of time).

Add in the cream. 1 oz of cream for every 8 oz of salmon. Mix. Creamy brains.

Add the parsley. Eyeball it, but about an ounce per 8 of salmon should be good for that too.

Add some salt and pepper for flavor. Add more than you think you should. If I had added enough salt to my salmon cakes, maybe I wouldn't have passed out at work on Sunday when my blood pressure took a nosedive. That's the real food for thought for today.

No, but seriously, add salt and pepper. It's important.

Heat a saute pan on the stove. When it's hot, add some olive oil. Form the salmon brains into cake patties (I do mine dinner-sized, like 3 inches in diameter, but you can also do them appetizer sized for parties).

For dinner-sized, cook a minute or two per side (medium heat). Then I like to put them on a paper towel to drain off some grease.

Annnnnnd DONE!

I hate all things mayo and mustard, but these would be good with anything you normally put on crab cakes, which, for most people is a mayo/mustard combo (or remoulade). I drizzled some balsamic vinegar on mine and it was delicious.

That's all, folks. I wish I had taken a picture, but I didn't... unfortunately. I can, however, show you a picture of the dishes I still have to wash (gross, I know... there is no excuse):